I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
