I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
