If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Found the puke drawer
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
