Life is so much better after having sex.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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