Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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