I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
