I'm lost and stupid without you.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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