My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
