tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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