I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
