PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
