Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
