Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Randomize
