I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I love you. Go after that dick
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
