I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
