I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
