I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
