So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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