I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
