Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
