i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
