He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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