This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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