The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
