And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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