just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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