So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
