I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
