I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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