how can u be prego again
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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