i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
