Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
