It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
