On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
