I cut my penus on the lid.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I still have a little drunk in my system
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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