What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
