My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
