We got so high we made milksteak
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
