I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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