every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
