I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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