No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
