she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
