Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
