Who wears a wallet chain?!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
