Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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