How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
