if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
