just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
