If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
