when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
