Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
