worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just found a bag of teeth...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
