marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We're too hungover to prance.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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