Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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