Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
